School.

If you know me well enough you'd know that I'm a fifteen year old boy who hasn't gone to school in a year. That story is for a later blog. The thing that I have a problem with is that kids today fail BADLY at my school. I mean how the fuck do you get a 34 on the test that you shouldn't even have to study for? We have this fifteen minute period every Tuesday called "Advisory". Basically, they take fifteen minutes out of MY CLASS PERIOD to bastardize the children with bad grades. If you can keep a 3.5 GPA like myself, then you shouldn't have to join said classes. It's bullshit! I don't want to fucking hear about your bad grades and not get fucking rewarded for having my good grades. FUCK THAT. Why even fail in the first place? It's not all that fucking hard. I mean seriously you guys. If you're reading this and you're failing then you really need to get your shit straight. ITS REALLY NOT HARD!

Thanks for reading
--Andrew

The "C" Student

There is no such thing as a perfect grading system (though I think a "Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down" system would be fun, like a movie review). Most students receive number grades or letter grades. I know that each school district has a different definition for a passing grade and failing grade, but today I'd like to focus on the middle score. The so-called "average" score. The C.

The C is a strange, abstract, anomaly. It can ruin your entire semester or help you pass a particularly difficult class. To some, a C means less-than-average. To others, it means more-than-failing, or just-as-good-as-an-A. Which type of C student are you?

The Angry Whirlwind:
When a C ruins an otherwise stellar grade point average, you're not happy. At first, you see it as an error. Something must have gone wrong at the grading lab. There's no way you could have received a C! And then reality sinks in, probably after a heated chat with the teacher, and the grade stands as is.

After this, depression hits, and hits hard, followed by another round of denial, and finally acceptance, which is followed by more depression, and then some denial, and more depression, and a few moments of hysterical laughter, more denial, eight minutes of depression, a few moments of breath holding, and then acceptance again.

My advice: You can't cry over spilled milk. (Your tears will only make the milk spread.) What happened, happened. Take some comfort in knowing that your grade is still average. You didn't fail. You didn't even get a D. It could have been worse. Look at your mistakes, figure out what went wrong, and move on. Besides, there are more important things to be crying about, such as paper cuts and that eerie knocking sound coming from the crawl space.

The Earner:
Sometimes, a C is a welcomed surprise. You're trying hard to get through a difficult class, and despite studying and preparing, you went home after the exam thinking you failed again. But when the C arrives, and you learn that you actually passed, it's a boost to your confidence. While your test might not be waved around at the dinner table, or taped to the fridge, deep down, you're proud of the grade.

My advice: Don't get cocky. Think of this as riding a bike up a steep hill. If you keep working hard, you will eventually get a B. But if you stop working, and assume that you can blow off studying and still get a passing grade, you'll slip past C territory, all the way to the bottom of the grade hill, where snakes, spiders, and evil, riddle-telling goats dwell. You don't want to go there. Trust me.

The C Student (C is for Coasting):
You're not surprised to get a C. In fact, you expect it. You know exactly how much work is needed to receive a passing grade, and that is all you are willing to do. You have a laid-back attitude towards education, and are simply going through the motions. Your philosophy is: Why work as hard as the A student, when we'll both be wearing a cap and gown come graduation day?

My advice: You're a fool. What if Superman didn't live up to his potential, and instead went to work at the Daily Planet, never once using his super powers? Sure, he'd have a nice life as a mild-mannered reporter. But the dude would never know that he could fly, because he was too lazy to try. He might need to put some work into it, make a flamboyant costume, learn not to swallow bugs in mid-flight, but eventually he would be flying all over the damn place. That could be you! You could be superman! I'm not suggesting that you try to defy gravity by jumping and flapping your arms (though I'd be lying if we said I didn't give it a go once…or a dozen times). But with a little, tiny, itty-bitty amount of work, you might be shocked to learn that you are a genius…or maybe even a super genius!

Thanks for reading!
--Andrew

YouTube

Fuck YouTube. No even better yet, fuck the people on YouTube. They just need to go away. If you spell "Of" like "Ov" then you have a serious fucking problem. And then I get criticized for correcting someone? I mean, I didn't correct them in a douchbaggish manner. I just simply pointed out that he's mentally fucking retarded. I did it in a polite way, but no, the whole fucking YouTube community decided to fucking get on me for being a "Grammar Nazi". The least you can do is respect someone's job. YouTube partners support families by making YouTube videos. It's the main source of their income. The least you can do is fucking spell right. Okay let me put it this way, Back before the internet, if you wanted to make a review for a movie, you would double check your grammar, right? Not because it looks "professional", but because it is respect for the people who spent a year or two to put a movie together for your viewing pleasure. I don't even care if you fuck up the big words that you try to use. At least spell "Of" right. Good god, us Americans are getting stupider and stupider every fucking day. Everyone should learn to type like me, correct grammar fluently and FUCKING PROOFREAD.


Thanks for reading

--Andrew


Here's my point:
Kyeoni:
btw ive never actually tried it i just thought ov it
Tacobeans:-2
ov?

Isn't it "Of"?

Kyeoni +1
wateva offfffffffffffffffffffffffffff ffffffffff

u happy??

Tacobeans: -2
Didn't we all learn how to spell this two letter word in the first grade?

And "Whatever"

Sound it out.

"What-eve-r"

See?

Isn't elementary school again so much fun?

Kyeoni +0
Lots of laughs. I find your interest in the english language quite amusing. The way your sentences are stuctured and the certain words you use inspire me to hold a slight dislike towards your personality. I do hope I have not offended you thought my written speech. =P.

The equals "P" sign is a symbol in the teenage slang of typing which symbolises the face of that person sticking there tongue. This usually portrays shame upon the viewer.

ImKingc0n -1
Not to mention the fact that you used the incorrect word usage of "there". You probably mean "their", no?

Tacobeans
-4
You might want to cut out the "Lots of Laughs" fragment in your statement there Keyoni. "lol" works just fine.

I aim to be amusing. I also aim to inspire.

Dislike towards my personality?

Oh my.

I'm so sorry to hear that. *Sarcasm*

The "asterisk word then asterisk" is used commonly on the internet to show either a way of someone’s speech, or a physical motion that they would perform if they where actually talking to the person in person
Kyeoni-3
*sigh*

The word "sigh" in asterisks portrays to the reader a "sigh". A sigh is an audible exhalation of air, arising from tiredness or from an emotion, which could be stemming from feelings of sadness or simple futility. In this certain case I am conveying the idea of being tired and bother from formality of one's speaking or typing. A sigh can also be an exclaimation used in comics. Breathing is the process that takes oxygen in and carbon dioxide out of the body.

Tacobeans -4
Well-played good sir.

Have you considered writing for Wikipedia?

Oh wait.

Maybe that's where you found it.

And maybe you also mixed seventh grade biology and reading with twelfth grade vocabulary.

Just a possibility.

You also forgot to add the juxtaposition of "Breathing"

Seeing as though you explain everything to me, I think that photosynthesis is an important part of this conversation.

Kyeoni +2
ok i randomly copied nd pasted wiki stuff who cares beside u????

Ur such a stupid smart person

OOooooOOO im usin bad gramma nd spelin nd language erroe nd spellin in m not bein formal.

100 Things that shouldn't exist.

I'm long overdue for a pre written blog.

1. Headaches.
2. Stupid, uncomfortable chairs.
3. People who sharpen their pencils slowly.
4. Stores that check your receipt as you exit, making you feel like a criminal.
5. Mean cats.
6. Soft Jazz.
7. People who cut paper slowly.
8. Disease.
9. Big scary bugs with many legs.
10. Tuna salad with celery.
11. Celery.
12. Food service employees who assume that when you said, "No tomatoes," you were lying.
13. Mysterious sticky spots on desks.
14. Mysterious warm sections in pools.
15. The phrase, "We need to give it 110%."
16. Long sales receipts that include a code at the bottom for an online survey, that, when completed, will enter you for a chance to win a gift card. (We never win, and yet we always get our hopes up.)
17. Blisters on the back of the ankle caused by new shoes.
18. Parody versions of the Happy Birthday Song.
19. Grass (Because you'd think by now it would have evolved and learned that if it grows, it will get mowed.)
20. Facial hair (For the same reason as grass.)
21. Tiny cups of coleslaw served at diners.
22. Remakes of bad horror movies.
23. Back-of-the-knee sweat.
24. Greeting cards with glitter.
25. Televised poker.
26. Splinters.
27. Wheat Pennies and Bicentennial Quarters (Because we never know if it's OK to spend them, or if we should save them.)
28. Wisdom teeth.
29. The Hills on MTV.
30. Poverty.
31. Fluctuating speed limits on long stretches of heavily patrolled road.
32. Popped collars.
33. People with tattoos written in a language that they cannot speak.
34. Hurricanes.
35. Teachers with coffee breath.
36. Ziggy comic strips.
37. DVD commentaries in which the commentators simply describe what is happening on the screen while congratulating themselves. (E.G. "OK, so then he's going to pick up the phone. This is such a great scene. Now, he's going to say something.")
38. Racism.
39. Park benches that are still wet from the storm that came through about two hours ago.
40. Anti-matter. (This isn't an annoyance, but instead, is something that should not exist.)
41. Product placement visible in most TV shows and movies.
42. Elderly relatives on social networking sites.
43. Bathroom stalls that don't have doors.
44. Any arcade game or toy vending machine that costs more than 50 cents.
45. Prickly bushes that are in close proximity to the basketball court or the bottom of sledding hills.
46. Waiting rooms with a TV smaller than 13 inches.
47. The fact that Shakespeare in Love beat out Saving Private Ryan for the Academy Award for Best Picture.
48. Traffic. (Especially if the cause of the traffic is a mystery even after the traffic jam eases up.)
49. People who tell you about the concert that you didn't go to.
50. The last 20 minutes of Peter Jackson's The Return of the King (other than the last part, it's a pretty cool movie).

51. The Tyra Banks Show.
52. Tyra Banks.
53. Special editions of DVDs that simply added in a few more bad words in order to be classified as "unrated."
54. Fred on YouTube.
55. Pie that has mold on it, but you don’t realize it until after you take a big ol' bite.
56. Ants that disobey.

57. The inflated price of Astronaut Ice Cream from the museum gift shop.
58. Any car horn other than your own.
59. Knots. (Except those associated with sailing and tying up bad guys.)
60. Clowns.
61. Insane Clown Posse fans.
62. Backups at the mini-golf course. (Come on, people. Hit the ball into the hole and move on. The ice cream stand closes in twenty minutes!)
63. Computer viruses that send messages to your Facebook friends.
64. Braggarts.
65. The confusing plot of the second and third Pirates of the Caribbean movies.
66. Burned popcorn.
67. Cold floors in the morning.
68. Nightmares about final exams for classes you've never taken.
69. The odd, malformed Peanut M&M's that tastes funky.
70. The band KISS.
71. Mysterious service fees for concert tickets and cell phones.
72. Yellow jackets (the insect).
73. Yellow jackets (the article of clothing). Some exceptions apply, mostly for young women with a free spirit and an eye for style.
74. Prescription drug commercials.
75. Ignorance.
76. Dream sequences.
77. Over-enthusiastic wedding DJs.
78. The bonus tracks on albums. (They're never that good.)
79. Stinky ice cubes.
80. Cover versions of our favorite songs.
81. Cashiers who act as though they've never seen a coupon or returned merchandise before.
82. Paper cuts.
83. Knife cuts.
84. Sword cuts.
85. Saw cuts.
86. Burglars.
87. Night vision. (If everyone has night vision, the job of a ninja becomes much more difficult.)
88. The short length of time glow-in-the-dark objects actually glow.
89. The skin that forms on the top of tomato soup.
90. Evil.
91. People who are better at volleyball than we are.
92. Loud clocks.
93. Snakes that might be hiding in your shoe or toilet bowl.
94. Lollipop sticks.
95. Sunburns.
96. Regular burns.
97. War.
98. Dead batteries.
99. Cavities.
100. Headaches…but, like, really bad headaches

Sleep.

Sleep is the thing that's always interrupted. Sleep is something that you can never get enough of. The more sleep that I get the more shitty I feel when I wake up. So now I don't sleep very often. When you are in a deep sleep, it's usually interrupted by someone, a phone call, or an alarm. That tends to piss you off and make the rest of your day horrible. It's just the way the cycle works. Picture a world where humans didn't have to sleep. Think about all we could get done. All of the time we waste on sleep is another precious moment that we can use to create something. Then again, it's a requirement of the human body. Without it, we would die. So I encourage all of you to just turn off your alarm, and cell phone, and have a nice long sleep without any interruptions.

Thanks for reading.

--Andrew

The Internet.

I don't understand people who don't type correctly when and on the internet. Every goddamn time I correct someone, I get "stfu its just teh int3rw3bz n00b" Yeah, the internet controls the world today. Do you know how much of a crisis we would be in if the internet just *poof* went away? We would be in the shitter! It's the most importatnt way of communicating today and you're not even using it correctly! Years ago, when we invented the phone, do you think that people misuesed that? Do you think that they abreviated words? Or even YEARS before that? Do you think they wrote a letter with intenet speek? One simple answer, no. No they didn't. So why in the fuckballs do we do it today? Unless you have some kind of mental retardation, then you shouldn't be talking like this: "u ned to stfu cuz ur dumb and u have no skills and ur poor" It honestly pisses me off to no end. NO FUCKING END.

Thanks for reading,
--Andrew.

Happiness.

Happiness is one of the hardest things to come by these days. No one is ever happy with what they are given. Try and argue against that. I bet you can't. There is no true key to happiness. Just the little things make people happy too. Most of the time, people don't take the little things. They want more. More more more. I'm like all of you, I want to give less and get more. Don't say that you don't feel that way. Because I know you do. Happiness isn't always material. It can be the caring voice of a friend, or a personal faith that brings you happiness. Whatever you choose, someone is going to argue against it. Like always. The thing that brings me the most happiness is doing absloutly nothing. Even then I have people yelling at me for it. So I ask you, what makes you happy? Leave me a comment, or post your own blog about happiness!

Thanks for reading

--Andrew