100 Things that shouldn't exist.

I'm long overdue for a pre written blog.

1. Headaches.
2. Stupid, uncomfortable chairs.
3. People who sharpen their pencils slowly.
4. Stores that check your receipt as you exit, making you feel like a criminal.
5. Mean cats.
6. Soft Jazz.
7. People who cut paper slowly.
8. Disease.
9. Big scary bugs with many legs.
10. Tuna salad with celery.
11. Celery.
12. Food service employees who assume that when you said, "No tomatoes," you were lying.
13. Mysterious sticky spots on desks.
14. Mysterious warm sections in pools.
15. The phrase, "We need to give it 110%."
16. Long sales receipts that include a code at the bottom for an online survey, that, when completed, will enter you for a chance to win a gift card. (We never win, and yet we always get our hopes up.)
17. Blisters on the back of the ankle caused by new shoes.
18. Parody versions of the Happy Birthday Song.
19. Grass (Because you'd think by now it would have evolved and learned that if it grows, it will get mowed.)
20. Facial hair (For the same reason as grass.)
21. Tiny cups of coleslaw served at diners.
22. Remakes of bad horror movies.
23. Back-of-the-knee sweat.
24. Greeting cards with glitter.
25. Televised poker.
26. Splinters.
27. Wheat Pennies and Bicentennial Quarters (Because we never know if it's OK to spend them, or if we should save them.)
28. Wisdom teeth.
29. The Hills on MTV.
30. Poverty.
31. Fluctuating speed limits on long stretches of heavily patrolled road.
32. Popped collars.
33. People with tattoos written in a language that they cannot speak.
34. Hurricanes.
35. Teachers with coffee breath.
36. Ziggy comic strips.
37. DVD commentaries in which the commentators simply describe what is happening on the screen while congratulating themselves. (E.G. "OK, so then he's going to pick up the phone. This is such a great scene. Now, he's going to say something.")
38. Racism.
39. Park benches that are still wet from the storm that came through about two hours ago.
40. Anti-matter. (This isn't an annoyance, but instead, is something that should not exist.)
41. Product placement visible in most TV shows and movies.
42. Elderly relatives on social networking sites.
43. Bathroom stalls that don't have doors.
44. Any arcade game or toy vending machine that costs more than 50 cents.
45. Prickly bushes that are in close proximity to the basketball court or the bottom of sledding hills.
46. Waiting rooms with a TV smaller than 13 inches.
47. The fact that Shakespeare in Love beat out Saving Private Ryan for the Academy Award for Best Picture.
48. Traffic. (Especially if the cause of the traffic is a mystery even after the traffic jam eases up.)
49. People who tell you about the concert that you didn't go to.
50. The last 20 minutes of Peter Jackson's The Return of the King (other than the last part, it's a pretty cool movie).

51. The Tyra Banks Show.
52. Tyra Banks.
53. Special editions of DVDs that simply added in a few more bad words in order to be classified as "unrated."
54. Fred on YouTube.
55. Pie that has mold on it, but you don’t realize it until after you take a big ol' bite.
56. Ants that disobey.

57. The inflated price of Astronaut Ice Cream from the museum gift shop.
58. Any car horn other than your own.
59. Knots. (Except those associated with sailing and tying up bad guys.)
60. Clowns.
61. Insane Clown Posse fans.
62. Backups at the mini-golf course. (Come on, people. Hit the ball into the hole and move on. The ice cream stand closes in twenty minutes!)
63. Computer viruses that send messages to your Facebook friends.
64. Braggarts.
65. The confusing plot of the second and third Pirates of the Caribbean movies.
66. Burned popcorn.
67. Cold floors in the morning.
68. Nightmares about final exams for classes you've never taken.
69. The odd, malformed Peanut M&M's that tastes funky.
70. The band KISS.
71. Mysterious service fees for concert tickets and cell phones.
72. Yellow jackets (the insect).
73. Yellow jackets (the article of clothing). Some exceptions apply, mostly for young women with a free spirit and an eye for style.
74. Prescription drug commercials.
75. Ignorance.
76. Dream sequences.
77. Over-enthusiastic wedding DJs.
78. The bonus tracks on albums. (They're never that good.)
79. Stinky ice cubes.
80. Cover versions of our favorite songs.
81. Cashiers who act as though they've never seen a coupon or returned merchandise before.
82. Paper cuts.
83. Knife cuts.
84. Sword cuts.
85. Saw cuts.
86. Burglars.
87. Night vision. (If everyone has night vision, the job of a ninja becomes much more difficult.)
88. The short length of time glow-in-the-dark objects actually glow.
89. The skin that forms on the top of tomato soup.
90. Evil.
91. People who are better at volleyball than we are.
92. Loud clocks.
93. Snakes that might be hiding in your shoe or toilet bowl.
94. Lollipop sticks.
95. Sunburns.
96. Regular burns.
97. War.
98. Dead batteries.
99. Cavities.
100. Headaches…but, like, really bad headaches

Sleep.

Sleep is the thing that's always interrupted. Sleep is something that you can never get enough of. The more sleep that I get the more shitty I feel when I wake up. So now I don't sleep very often. When you are in a deep sleep, it's usually interrupted by someone, a phone call, or an alarm. That tends to piss you off and make the rest of your day horrible. It's just the way the cycle works. Picture a world where humans didn't have to sleep. Think about all we could get done. All of the time we waste on sleep is another precious moment that we can use to create something. Then again, it's a requirement of the human body. Without it, we would die. So I encourage all of you to just turn off your alarm, and cell phone, and have a nice long sleep without any interruptions.

Thanks for reading.

--Andrew

The Internet.

I don't understand people who don't type correctly when and on the internet. Every goddamn time I correct someone, I get "stfu its just teh int3rw3bz n00b" Yeah, the internet controls the world today. Do you know how much of a crisis we would be in if the internet just *poof* went away? We would be in the shitter! It's the most importatnt way of communicating today and you're not even using it correctly! Years ago, when we invented the phone, do you think that people misuesed that? Do you think that they abreviated words? Or even YEARS before that? Do you think they wrote a letter with intenet speek? One simple answer, no. No they didn't. So why in the fuckballs do we do it today? Unless you have some kind of mental retardation, then you shouldn't be talking like this: "u ned to stfu cuz ur dumb and u have no skills and ur poor" It honestly pisses me off to no end. NO FUCKING END.

Thanks for reading,
--Andrew.

Happiness.

Happiness is one of the hardest things to come by these days. No one is ever happy with what they are given. Try and argue against that. I bet you can't. There is no true key to happiness. Just the little things make people happy too. Most of the time, people don't take the little things. They want more. More more more. I'm like all of you, I want to give less and get more. Don't say that you don't feel that way. Because I know you do. Happiness isn't always material. It can be the caring voice of a friend, or a personal faith that brings you happiness. Whatever you choose, someone is going to argue against it. Like always. The thing that brings me the most happiness is doing absloutly nothing. Even then I have people yelling at me for it. So I ask you, what makes you happy? Leave me a comment, or post your own blog about happiness!

Thanks for reading

--Andrew

Cell Phones

Seriously. Take that fucking blue tooth headset out of your ear. They make you look like a douche bag who's too lazy to pull his phone out of his pocket. If you're doing something that requires two hands, LIKE DRIVING then you should not be talking on the phone. Who's that goddamn important that you need to talk to while you're driving? While I'm on the topic of Cell Phones, texting gets on my last fucking nerve. Why spend five minutes typing out a message when you can just say it in five seconds? I hear "But Andrew, you can't talk on your phone during class!" WHO'S THAT FUCKING IMPORTANT THAT YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO FUCKING TALK TO DURING CLASS?! There was a study that involved 100 thirteen year old girls. They took half their phones away. 80% suffered from high anxiety, sleep loss, and panic attacks! Seriously. Panic attacks? Do me a favor. don't use your phone for a day. Let's find out what happens.

Thanks for reading,
--Andrew

Capital Punishment

What is the cost of a human life? Why must we kill to show that killing is wrong? Is it really up to one person to decide who lives and who dies? Killing the murderer will never bring back the victim. Don't get me wrong, there are people out there who deserve death, but who thought it was okay to let one person decide someone elses fate? What about the innocent? What if they never killed anything more than a fly? Many innocents get killed due to a flawed system. Something is seriously wrong here.

Thanks for reading:

--Andrew

Maturity

Maturity differs from what situation you're in. When you're doing something important that requires your all, your at the height of your maturity. If your favorite team just won/lost the game, you're at the lowest of your maturity. You're at your midway mark when you're relaxing on a fine weekend day. Some people assume that you're always immature. Yet they're scared to point out when you're being as mature as possible. Most people think that they're too smart to even speek to you. They're ego gets in the way. They're not afraid to point out your flaws, yet get all defensive when someone points out their flaws. The person I'm talking about knows who he/she is

Thanks for reading

--Andrew